What women really mean
I heard a noise - I noticed you were almost asleep

You Want - You Want

We Need - I Want

It's your decision - The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want - You'll pay for this later

We need to talk - I need to complain

Sure...go ahead - I don't want you to

You're certainly attentive tonight - Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! - I'm not having a period

This kitchen is so inconvenient - I want a new house...and curtains and carpeting, furniture...
Hang the picture there - No, I mean hang it there!

Do you love me? - I'm going to ask for something expensive

I'll be ready in a minute - Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

You have to learn to communicate - Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? - Too late, your a goner

I'm sorry - You'll be sorry.

No - Yes

Maybe - No

Do you like this recipe? - It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it

I'm not yelling! - Yes I am yelling because I think this is important